About this blog

I decided to write this blog because I have been trying to find information about strokes and how it affects the family rather than just the person who had the stroke. Most of the stuff I found was just support groups and how family can help the patient. I didn't find many personal stories of how it affected the family as a whole, and didn't find any blogs about the carers. Usually, the focus is on the person who has had the stroke, but those who are directly involved in their care, are misrepresented. And so - Who cares for the carers? was launched. I have crammed the first month into a few posts since we are only a month into his recovery, but once I am up to date, I will update any time there is anything to tell. I would love to hear from anyone in a similar situation, or even if reading this blog has hit a chord or helped anyone, then my job will be done. It is also therapy for me to be able to write what's on my mind. The road to recovery is a long one, both for the sufferer and their families.

Tuesday 21 July 2009

Support for ME

Today I have a lady coming to visit me from the carers association. Pity it's taken almost 3 months for ME to get some advice and support, but still, I'm quite looking forward to her coming. Having someone to vent to, ask questions to and hopefully not get the text book "you need to look after yourself too" speech. That's great but HOW do I do that? I don't have the time, and right now we're not getting the help for me to take 5.

I'm also looking forward to getting some kind of answers, like whether it's normal to feel the way I do, whether the things that are happening in our family dynamic are usual after this kind of illness. And maybe even get put in contact with another young parent who is also a full time carer for their partner. I think that would help me enormously, so I'm hoping that's an option.

I'll update again after she's been.

2 comments:

  1. I can't relate completely, Helen, but I think I qualify as a carer. Maybe chronic instead of long-term. I'm sure you've read enough over the years, but in short DH has PTSD and it's pretty debilitating, sometimes including inpatient treatments, and ALWAYS including depression, anger, rages, social isolation, nightmares, paranoia, the whole lot. It's scary because he's going through a bad spot right now and it's sad to see that the hope I had for him has pretty much gone back to baseline.

    ANYWHO, not to make this about me. In the time we've lived together (four years) he's been like this the majority of the time, but it's only been this past, six months or so, I'd say, that I really started to figure out how to take care of myself. It's hard to describe but it's basically to do stuff that seems selfish to me, but to do it anyway. I always have nagging thoughts like I shouldn't be doing this, but I do anyway. After the kids are asleep I go swimming sometimes, or during the day I just lock the kids up somewhere and take a bath, or... well gosh, those things don't sound so wonderful, but I think the point is to do stuff that you enjoy, and really look for these opportunities in your life, and then NOT feel guilty about it during or afterwards. That's key for me.

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  2. Er, totally did a typo. I meant chronic instead of acute. ;)

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